Previously, we rapid fired principles. Let’s pick up where we left off. The goal is to have long-term principles that are unwavering throughout life and give us a concrete meaning. It is what we live-and-die for, without something you are willing to die for- you live for nothing.

Therefore, let us start by identifying the biggest problems with our last list. Firstly, it is just off the head. It is something that bubbled up from the subconscious based on a variety of factors that would be pretty hard to put our fingers on- they are inherently close to the money since they come from a deeper part of our psyche but the issue is they are not thought out. The subconscious is well explain in “thinking fast and slow”- it makes split second decision based on incomplete data and biases. It is very important to our overall mental function but we have to be clear about this.

Now is the time where we hash it out with out conscious mind, or the one that thinks slow and deliberate. Make sure you had a banana or light snack and are comfortable because directing the conscious mind is a high energy expenditure.

The goal is to figure out why we thought of these principles and identify weaknesses, flaws, and elaborations to them until they are hammered out into a proper form which agrees with ourselves.

Let’s start with the first principle, which I defined as “family”. Why did you pick it? I picked “family” because it strikes a chord with me- it reminds me of my mom, and siblings, my grandparents, and the Kloberdanz christmases. I solid feeling of belonging, joy, and unconditional love.

The problem with this principle? It came from someone else, it is actually a principle hammered into my own psyche by my parents and grandparents. It is like a genetic trait that gets passed down and I am unknowingly embodying it as my own. Let’s elaborate on it a bit more.

When can Family be a good or bad thing? Family can be a good thing when it provides people with a safe space for unconditional love and acceptance. It is healthy when it makes people feel ‘love’- that deeply human condition in which life is experienced as a group. It is deeply part of our nature and really belongs to the idea of “community”.

Family can be a bad thing when it is not a safe space, when it is abusive- a constant variable in your life for negativity. It should be expected that families go through good and bad times but when the bad times just keep coming and toxic traits become standard- we must explore our lives without them. The issue with the principle of family is that it forgets that families can be some of the worst places for people- it is where good children grow up to acquire their abusive parents traits. It is where the child learns what drugs are, what it feels like to be abandoned, what hate feels like.

So what did I identify? I identified that my principle of “Family” actually goes much deeper and is actually the expression of shared living as a group- community. A whole different principle that contains the principle of famile. Not only this but you identified it as a fundamental part of the human experience in regards to inspiring belonging, safety, and love within the spirit of man. That is much deeper and thought-out.

What is more is I identified a caveat- the principle of “family” is incomplete as it blesses it without any flaws. It is obvious that family can be bad and therefore, saying family is a mixed bag and implies nothing in terms of action items or clarity in the value.

We have the opportunity to reconcile these into a holistic value that is deeper and more thought-out.

The reconciliation of these discoveries leads me to the following principle: Community- fostering a sense of belong, love, and safety with my circles of influence. To my wife, siblings, parents, grandparents, and greater community.

We naturally are hierarchal, especially in family. It is why we make clear distinction what a persons relation is to you. We must figure how we can best live out our value for each of this categories. The categories roughly being:

• Created Family:
  • Wife
  • Kids
  • Pets
• Natural Family:
  • Parents
  • Siblings
• Extended Family:
  • Cousins
  • Aunts / Uncles
  • Grandparents
• Communitiy:
  • City / State
  • Humanity

This is a deeper explanation about our principle and we will discuss it more when we circle back to this but first we need to discover the truth in our next principle.