How can I connect with my dad? He has passed away many years ago and yet I feel the need to bring him into my soul. This realization came from the positive benefits I received from spending time with my grandpa. Finally, I felt a certain sense of identity that I could integrate. Something that I felt had been missing for much of my life- a role model. This is because my fathers absence from my life has left a hole in my psyche which he would usually fill. My personality, quirks, and reflections that came about through interaction with a man I love and trust and I know love and trusts me. That is powerful.
I need this in my life but my father is clearly not coming back to life. The question is- how can I integrate his personality, presence, and soul into my life so that some of the positive benefits are obtained. I would need to capture his essence, gather his memories, and create a way to engage with him. I have never received word from him in prayer and doubt there is any afterlife for him to engage with me through so my solution has to be tangible.
The biggest problem is that it has been a long time since papa has been here and many of his stories, artifacts, and such are forgotten or lost. Furthermore, the length of time since his departure has made it so it is hard to extrapolate his character into the present. I know what he was like for me as a child but how would he father me now? How would he guide me? What would our relationship look like now? Those are the questions that are hard to answer. And thus, without that core foundation- how could I possibly create a system of integrating papa into my life.
In a perfect world, I could feed every interaction we have had together into an AI that could mimic his personality and voice and I could have an actual interaction with him, and that may be possible, but I think that in order to create a beneficial system that integrates papa into my life, I need to address the key issue- I need to know who, what, why, and when, he was. Once I can answer those questions, I can move on.